Toilet Tales

I remember, way back in 2005, I visited Hainan Island with my wife and some other family members.

I vividly remember that we were brought to a pearl center, where, we, as the captured audience, will be indoctrinated with the goodness of pearl, blah blah blah.

Well, for one who don't believe in it, the pitch goes through one ear and out another in less than a second..

The story I wanted to relate was about our experience of using the toilet at that center. You see, beside being a stop point for sales pitch, it was also a toilet call stop.

When I got inside the toilet, I really got a cultural shock. I have heard about such toilets but to see (almost experienced it) first hand, you still can't take it.

The cubicles for doing "BIG" business is only about waist high. If you stand up, practically, nothing would be left to the imagination. You have to stand up though, otherwise, how do you unzip your pants etc?? I also heard from my wife that the women's side is the same. To compound matter even more, the doors (or what poor excuse of a door) are about 6 inches from the floor, meaning, if you are squatting, again, don't hope for any privacy!!

Also, all the cubicles are squatting version only, the best thing about it is, it is practically a drain from one end to another end. Meaning, if you are using the "downstream" one, anyone from "upstream" do any business, their "business" will practically float and pass you by. Imagine if there is 5 upstream cubicles..yuckkk...

Fortunately, I wasn't in there for the biggies. Even if I was, I doubt that I can let go at such environment, hahaha. The womenfolk, they only have those half cubicles to utilise. And I remembered my wife told me for privacy, they would have to "half-squat", squat but not all the way and have to do it fast. It's very trying on the thigh, nobody in their right mind can withstand the pressure of half-squat for more than 5 - 10 minutes...

On another occasion, this time somewhere between Wuhan and cruise terminal (3 hours coach drive, I think), with another group of friends, the coach stopped at one of the public toilet, I think adjacent to a petrol station. I didn't go to the toilet but I remember my wife and a few other ladies in the group went - some of them come running back out again, practically running!!! Because the toilets were very very smelly and dirty and many superlatives that is not suitable for posting, but you get the picture, even those who really can't hold their bladder and have to do it there came out like they have just been to torture chamber. Some practically have to hold tissues to their nose for quite sometime even after the coach has moved. I think the trauma of using that toilet is nothing that can be forgotten by them that easily. I think I was laughing myself silly at that time, looking at the reactions of those womenfolk and imagining the condition and smell in the toilet.

I think, overall, in Malaysia, we are very fortunate that we can use toilet everywhere we go. I remember that when I was in London with a friend and I had the need to use toilet, there were practically none to be found and I have to walk very far to locate one Macdonald's and use their's. Same goes for Thailand and many other countries, where, unlike Malaysia, you can find coffee shops at practically every corner and you can use their facilites, but no such culture in many foreign countries!! I wonder how those people survive the whole day without toilet facilities within reasonable walking distance...