Personal Motives??

Eventually, people will think about self preservation and self interest, with personal agenda, which in the end boils down to money.

I have been around, I have been a keen observer and I have made quite accurate deduction. The thing is, many people don't know that other people would observe them. Just as much as I didn't know people are observing and making notes of my shortcomings too.

My main weakness I guess is my inability to really hide my emotions and feelings. You could tell that I wear them on my sleeves. If I am angry or not happy, it will show very clearly. Over time, I don't even bother to hide it anymore.

But in a way, I guess that wearing my emotion on my sleeves is better character than those people who smile in front of you and then stab you at the back. At least, I don't back-stab, as far as I can remember though, unless there might be some I might have accidentally, but I doubt it.

And I have also learned recently that apparently, I am not the goody two shoes guy I have been led to believe too. At the face of it, everyone agrees that I am decently good guy but behind my back, I was the devil incarnate? I am being overtly dramatic here but that's basically the gist of it.

Little do those people realise that at least, I make my feelings known, be it angry, sad, dissappointment, happy and whatnots. Of course, it is human nature for wanting to be accepted, for the good as much as the bad but one thing to be remembered is, nobody is perfect, everyone have their good points as much as their bad points.

At times, I feel very tired if I have to put on a mask to deal with people. In those instances, I just decided not to deal with people at all, after all, the mask I wear normally don't do a good job at hiding my feeling when it was worn on my sleeves, thus betraying my mask. Am I making sense?

In most probablity, readers will be confused but given the circumstances, I guess, people will understand what I am trying to get through.

On a lighter note, I am wondering, is my back ache due to the "back-stabbing" of recent times? And I am about fully recovered, meaning, the season for back-stabbing is over? What a co-incidence, I suppose...